I'm incredibly tired of all the drama in this area. I question my motivation for moving back here from Tulsa. My life is in shambles... I'm not sure how I will do in school... I think I will have to transfer after this semester... Looks like I will continue to fail at living in my "home" town...
I have decided that I am not going to be miserably fat anymore! When my income tax gets here I am going to buy me a new ab wheel. I started tonight using my hip hop abs tapes. I want to be healthy. Natalie deserves a healthy role model. I don't want her growing up thinking that reeses are an acceptable breakfast food. I want her to grow up continuing her love for vegetables and getting plenty of exercise. I will do this. Every second that I think I can't... I will look at her and find it somewhere in me to be strong enough to do what I need to do to be a healthy mommy to her.
As of about an hour ago I have set a goal to loose 30 lbs. That will get me back to my pre-pregnancy weight. How I gained 20lbs in the last 7 months is beyond me. I blame the recent holidays. I believe that setting small short term goals will get me there. I have nearly 100 to loose, so I will start small and build. I will do this!
Ok I'm pumped now... Let's see how I feel next week.
LilySlim Weight loss tickers
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Want free diapers?
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Click my referral link so I get a bonus. I just cashed out for my first $30 check... Thats what 5 of those ebay diapers like I just got?
Click my referral link so I get a bonus. I just cashed out for my first $30 check... Thats what 5 of those ebay diapers like I just got?
Nati first birthday
Flutterfly Fun Blue Birthday Invitation
For hundreds of birthday card designs, click here.
View the entire collection of cards.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Dear Nat Nat
As I type this I am literally crying. Please disregard typos.
Natalie,
Mommy loves you more than all the stars in the sky. I miss you so much. I am so torn about starting school. I feel as if maybe I should have waited until you where older and in school, maybe then I wouldn't feel so much like I have abandoned you. I sneak a peak at my phone in class, not to see what time it is, or to text really quick, just to take a look at your smiling face on my screen. I feel so uncomfortable in class. I don't like getting up in the morning and missing my Nati time. As it is I barely have time to dress you and take you to Tammie. Every second that I steal away to love you before I leave gets me into trouble when I arrive at school late, but I need our morning interaction to get through the day. I know my instructors don't understand, but I know you do.
I wish I could stop and pick up dinner on the way home everyday, I hate how dinner preparation takes away more of the time I have to spend with you. I know I may not be keeping the cleanest house in america, but I know that you are getting to spend the most time possible with mommy. I love our bath time at night. I love watching you smack your rubber duckies under the water, and your laugh melts my heart. I wish there was a way I could sneak you into my classes, but I know you would make yourself known. I know you my Nati could not bear the thought of a human being being present and not paying attention to you.
I hope that this schooling pays off and that the time I miss with you now will be worth it some day. I want to give you the world, but in order to give it to you I have to finish school. I just never knew it would be this hard.
Mommy Loves you Nat-Nat,
Love Mommy.
Natalie,
Mommy loves you more than all the stars in the sky. I miss you so much. I am so torn about starting school. I feel as if maybe I should have waited until you where older and in school, maybe then I wouldn't feel so much like I have abandoned you. I sneak a peak at my phone in class, not to see what time it is, or to text really quick, just to take a look at your smiling face on my screen. I feel so uncomfortable in class. I don't like getting up in the morning and missing my Nati time. As it is I barely have time to dress you and take you to Tammie. Every second that I steal away to love you before I leave gets me into trouble when I arrive at school late, but I need our morning interaction to get through the day. I know my instructors don't understand, but I know you do.
I wish I could stop and pick up dinner on the way home everyday, I hate how dinner preparation takes away more of the time I have to spend with you. I know I may not be keeping the cleanest house in america, but I know that you are getting to spend the most time possible with mommy. I love our bath time at night. I love watching you smack your rubber duckies under the water, and your laugh melts my heart. I wish there was a way I could sneak you into my classes, but I know you would make yourself known. I know you my Nati could not bear the thought of a human being being present and not paying attention to you.
I hope that this schooling pays off and that the time I miss with you now will be worth it some day. I want to give you the world, but in order to give it to you I have to finish school. I just never knew it would be this hard.
Mommy Loves you Nat-Nat,
Love Mommy.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
First Day
Today was my official first day of college.
Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I have
English Comp
American Federal Government
College Algebra
American History
Freshman Orientation
Tuesday and Thursday I have
Intro to Sociology
I am really excited. I am currently doing a 16 hour schedule. I am hoping that I can handle this case load... and maybe carry a larger case load in the semesters to come.
Visit my etsy www.etsy.com/shop/CapriciousCreationsN any money made here goes to my books and stuff needed for Natalie. (You know you want some babylegs)
Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I have
English Comp
American Federal Government
College Algebra
American History
Freshman Orientation
Tuesday and Thursday I have
Intro to Sociology
I am really excited. I am currently doing a 16 hour schedule. I am hoping that I can handle this case load... and maybe carry a larger case load in the semesters to come.
Visit my etsy www.etsy.com/shop/CapriciousCreationsN any money made here goes to my books and stuff needed for Natalie. (You know you want some babylegs)
Monday, January 10, 2011
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