hmm

I'm incredibly tired of all the drama in this area. I question my motivation for moving back here from Tulsa. My life is in shambles... I'm not sure how I will do in school... I think I will have to transfer after this semester... Looks like I will continue to fail at living in my "home" town...

I have decided that I am not going to be miserably fat anymore! When my income tax gets here I am going to buy me a new ab wheel. I started tonight using my hip hop abs tapes. I want to be healthy. Natalie deserves a healthy role model. I don't want her growing up thinking that reeses are an acceptable breakfast food. I want her to grow up continuing her love for vegetables and getting plenty of exercise. I will do this. Every second that I think I can't... I will look at her and find it somewhere in me to be strong enough to do what I need to do to be a healthy mommy to her.

As of about an hour ago I have set a goal to loose 30 lbs. That will get me back to my pre-pregnancy weight. How I gained 20lbs in the last 7 months is beyond me. I blame the recent holidays. I believe that setting small short term goals will get me there. I have nearly 100 to loose, so I will start small and build. I will do this!

Ok I'm pumped now... Let's see how I feel next week.

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Nati first birthday

Flutterfly Fun Blue Birthday Invitation

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Today

Was complete hell.

End of story.





College Algebra

Dear Nat Nat

As I type this I am literally crying. Please disregard typos.

Natalie,
Mommy loves you more than all the stars in the sky. I miss you so much. I am so torn about starting school. I feel as if maybe I should have waited until you where older and in school, maybe then I wouldn't feel so much like I have abandoned you. I sneak a peak at my phone in class, not to see what time it is, or to text really quick, just to take a look at your smiling face on my screen. I feel so uncomfortable in class. I don't like getting up in the morning and missing my Nati time. As it is I barely have time to dress you and take you to Tammie. Every second that I steal away to love you before I leave gets me into trouble when I arrive at school late, but I need our morning interaction to get through the day. I know my instructors don't understand, but I know you do.

I wish I could stop and pick up dinner on the way home everyday, I hate how dinner preparation takes away more of the time I have to spend with you. I know I may not be keeping the cleanest house in america, but I know that you are getting to spend the most time possible with mommy. I love our bath time at night. I love watching you smack your rubber duckies under the water, and your laugh melts my heart. I wish there was a way I could sneak you into my classes, but I know you would make yourself known. I know you my Nati could not bear the thought of a human being being present and not paying attention to you.

I hope that this schooling pays off and that the time I miss with you now will be worth it some day. I want to give you the world, but in order to give it to you I have to finish school. I just never knew it would be this hard.

Mommy Loves you Nat-Nat,
Love Mommy.

First Day

Today was my official first day of college.
Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I have
English Comp
American Federal Government
College Algebra
American History
Freshman Orientation

Tuesday and Thursday I have
Intro to Sociology  

I am really excited. I am currently doing a 16 hour schedule. I am hoping that I can handle this case load... and maybe carry a larger case load in the semesters to come.

Visit my etsy www.etsy.com/shop/CapriciousCreationsN  any money made here goes to my books and stuff needed for Natalie. (You know you want some babylegs)

My etsy is open!

www.etsy.com/shop/CapriciousCreationsN


Babylegs online now!

Snow and Walking

Yesterday it snowed here for the first time in Natalie's life and she took her first three steps without falling.
I am not a fan of the snow, and never have been. As I warmly dressed Natalie, I readied my camera hoping to get a few shots before she got cranky. She really surprised me. She took to the snow like a fish to water. Natalie took off crawling and feeling the snow. She really was curious about it. After about five minutes I got cold and brought her in. She probably would have played all day if I hadn't got cold.








.At night, we commonly put in a movie and lounge on the couch until Natalie falls asleep. Last night Natalie was way to energized from an exciting day and was not yet ready to get any sleep. I let her down to play, hoping she would play off the excess energy and get some sleep. Instead, she stood up on her music table and played for a while. I was watching her play and laughing along with her. She reached out her hand and screamed AH AH AH at me. Obviously I wasn't doing something right. I reached out my hands and Natalie walked into them. We did our celebratory Yay Nati! clap and I tried for about an hour to get her to repeat it. Unfortunately She refused to walk again yesterday. Soon everything will have to go up one drawer higher. My little monster is almost mobile.

Mom's Don't Pee

A casual trip to the bathroom can have astronomical effects onto your living space if you are a mom. I left my post folding clothes to make a quick run to the bathroom, and returned to find my beautiful infant daughter throwing all my folded clothes off the end table and deposited them safely behind the couch. Thankfully she left my important papers alone on the table.
The only thing she didn't think of was how to escape from her depositing ground without any pictorial evidence. She will love these pictures as a teenager.

School

Being anywhere at 8 a.m. has never been easy for me. I'm just not a butt crack of dawn kind person. So when I finished with testing yesterday and made my way to admissions, I was starting to dread enrolling into school.
I talked with the admissions counselor and began compiling a schedule... and to my surprise she didn't have a problem with me not wanting to show up and 8. So my first class is at nine in the morning. Yay!
I have twelve hours spread over Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I am in an Allied Health program for now, but hope to be accepted into the Radiology program soon.

So I am now armed with a Student ID and a Schedule. I am a Student at CASC. I'm pretty excited over the whole situation.