hmm

I'm incredibly tired of all the drama in this area. I question my motivation for moving back here from Tulsa. My life is in shambles... I'm not sure how I will do in school... I think I will have to transfer after this semester... Looks like I will continue to fail at living in my "home" town...

I have decided that I am not going to be miserably fat anymore! When my income tax gets here I am going to buy me a new ab wheel. I started tonight using my hip hop abs tapes. I want to be healthy. Natalie deserves a healthy role model. I don't want her growing up thinking that reeses are an acceptable breakfast food. I want her to grow up continuing her love for vegetables and getting plenty of exercise. I will do this. Every second that I think I can't... I will look at her and find it somewhere in me to be strong enough to do what I need to do to be a healthy mommy to her.

As of about an hour ago I have set a goal to loose 30 lbs. That will get me back to my pre-pregnancy weight. How I gained 20lbs in the last 7 months is beyond me. I blame the recent holidays. I believe that setting small short term goals will get me there. I have nearly 100 to loose, so I will start small and build. I will do this!

Ok I'm pumped now... Let's see how I feel next week.